Wanted: Lost Man
He’s 6’8”, bright blue eyes, 165-170Ibs. Nice dresser, smooth talker. Great listener. Great sharer. Intelligent, funny guy. Loves snuggling in bed in the morning, bringing me coffee and watching the morning news. Likes to drink wine on the patio on warm moonlit summer nights. Please if you have seen him, or anyone that fits the description, let me know!
I miss my best friend, and I want him back! I am sure he misses his too. I have not been the same person lately myself. But I just miss “US” so much. The old us, the way we used to be together. I don’t think a day has gone by for weeks now without some kind of disagreement, some small and silly, and some humdingers for sure. I know a lot of it has to do with our financial situation, he doesn’t do poor very well. I’ve been there, got threw it and moved on. I don’t like being back there. I don’t know how I am actually handling it, I feel numb most of the time. Ya know like, this isn’t all really happening to me numb.
I miss being able to talk to him. I use to be able to talk to him about things that were very, very hard for me to talk about, if ever, with anyone. Things that I never talked about with my ex husband. So now I find myself shutting him out the past couple of days. Pretending there is nothing bothering me, but not speaking unless spoken to. I don’t want to go back there again. I have tried and tried talking with him, but he doesn’t hear me.
I am scared that things might not work out with us, very, very scared. I keep telling myself that its the stress of his heart attach 6 months ago, our financial situation because of it. But is it? Is there a way back even if it is? This is what I fall asleep thinking, while watching him sleep. And what I wake up to staring at the empty spot beside me every morning.
TTFN
Posted on 08/04/04 at 11:18 PM