SELLING OUT? PART ONE.

I really haven’t been very good at this blogging thing lately. I did have a nice long entry last week. Don’t ask me where it went, I have no idea. Someplace in lost blog entry land I guess. It was about Halloween and what a great time we had on Beggars night in Maine with my brother and SIL and all the kids. Oh and the job, I didn’t get it. After a month of waiting to hear on it they finally tell me that two people decided to switch hours so the job isn’t available now. Nice of them to take so long to let me know.

So now that leaves me to my word to Angus. That if this last try at the school doesn’t work out that I will look elsewhere. So I have and, I feel like I am selling out on my kids. Well, mostly to Zoe and Aidan. Most of the jobs I have had over the years I have been very fortunate to be able to be home with my children when they have vacations or days off. And home when they get home from school to help with homework and the like. The only two jobs I have had that I have not been able to do this was when I worked at a hair salon. I had Sunday and Monday off, and Tuesday thru Friday I got out at 5 PM. Aidan and Zoe stayed at a after school program from 3:30 PM to 5:15. It was a fun program and they enjoyed it. It cost a bit but was well worth it. They really didn’t see it as daycare, more like playtime after school with their classmates before coming home. I left that job about a year after I left the EX. I love that job and hated having to leave it. I needed more money, my boss needed to cut back expenses. So off I went to a major company to make lots of money. With lots of hours. Lots of overtime hours. The money was decent, the hours were not. I was lucky that when I had to go in hours earlier than I was suppose to that a neighbor and friend was able to get the Zoe and Aidan off to school for me. The other end was a nightmare and left me stressed out at least three out of five working days. After school care ended at 6 PM, I had to work until 7 PM a lot. Ya know to finish up “Team Quota’s” and make “The Team” look good. Somehow I was able to have friends pick them up and bring them home when needed. There were a lot of times I had to put my foot down and tell my boss that I had to be out and pick up the kids by 6 PM. All the work I did after 5 PM was not work that was mine. It was other people work that didn’t get done and needed to be done so that the next day could start out smooth, and so that we would hit the “Team” work quota for the end of the week.

I was with Angus by this time in my life. He traveled and was gone Monday thru Friday most weeks but, he was a big help once the kids had to switch schools the following year and there was no more after school care. Sophia was old enough to watch Zoe and Aidan after school. So that was that. And it sucked. For her, for me, and for Zoe and Aidan. I was a complete stressed out mess most of the time. It was a happy, happy moment when that company went through cut backs and I was one of them in the second round let me tell you! Of course it brought on all kinds of other stress. I needed to make money. Thankfully a close friends ex husband needed a display designer and was very flexible with the hours. Unfortunately it was only seasonal, about 2-3 months tops twice a year. So we cleaned houses in between. It actually worked out well for for the time. And then working for Angus and his company when he had it I was able to work at home for the most half, until the heart attach that is. And well we know it has been down hill from there. This is going to have to be a two parted. Time to go sell out.

TTFN

I SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO SAY THIS BUT...................

Dang life has been boring. I still haven’t started at the school yet. I am most frustrated. One would not think it would be this complicated to get a job at a elementary school would they! I am very close to giving up on them. But my other options are not great.

Not much going on in life, like I said, very boring! Same ole same ole. Sophia has been home sick for the past couple of days so at least I have had someone to talk to! If I don’t start working soon I am going to go crazy here. Eight months of not working at all is enough to drive me there. At least when we were living in wine country back in CA and I was at home I was doing stuff for the company Angus owned! And I had money to keep me busy with, which always helps lol.

This trying to save every dime is not much fun either let me tell you. Especially when you have a mother like mine, some things just never change. We have been giving her a good amount of money every month to cover all utilities and then some, a lot of some. Enough that she was able to buy a new computer when hers finally died over the summer. Which is good, its what we wanted for her. To have some breathing room with her bills while we are here with her. To have the money to fix some things in the condo so when she goes to sell it will look nicer. Extra money she just doesn’t have after paying all her bills every month.

So was I ever so surprised when I got a knock on the door last Thursday from the electric company. They wanted to shut it off! What the...? They wouldn’t take a check from me either. They said it was way beyond that. They needed a bank check from her bank. They are tiered of doing this with her. So I asked just how much she owed, over $900! So then I felt bad because the water tank went a couple of months ago and that cost her a few hundred dollars and she wouldn’t let us give her anything. So I asked them if it would be OK if it was a bank check from my bank. He told me that I would have to call the office to see but, he wasn’t sure they would because she has owed them a lot of money for the past couple of years. Hummmm, what’s up with that?  Dang, I know money is tight with her. But what is she doing with all the money we give her? She isn’t spending it on the condo that’s for sure.

So a very confused conversation with her over the phone and she took care of it. And I was able to convince her to just let us pay the utilities. So I asked about the gas, where I might find the latest bill for that and she said that she wasn’t sure but, she would pay the last one and we could take it from there. So I wait every day to not have hot water.

Its pretty sad when something like this happens and I say life is boring. It just doesn’t faze me anymore. Not after everything that has happened in the past two years. Nothing could surprise me anymore. Well, except that if they found my EX and he actually took some responsibility for his three children. That would shock the shit out of me.

TTFN

I AM NOT READY YET

I just about froze my tush off yesterday. It was a very rude awakening that winter is not far away. I am not ready. I am not used to those kinds of temps until at least the end of December, if that. I did try and throw myself into the moment though. I peeled and chopped apples, and peeled and chopped more apples. I took the peels and cores and put them in a pot on the stove and added the usual spices. I even made my own pastry doe lol. Not bad for a chick that handed in her Martha license well over six years ago. Ya, scared myself, Even Angus and the kids a bit too! And it came out yummy to boot! I might even try and make one today too. I am going out to a friends house with my mother tonight for a pot luck kind of get together.

Oh yay. She is excited though lol. She has now called me three freaking times this morning to let me know what time, what she is going to bring, to find out if I am still going, and what errand she is doing. I kid you not. I know she would love for things to be the way the used to be when I lived here before but, that was a long time ago. And things were a lot different back then. I hadn’t cut that last apron string yet. I think it got cut the moment I closed the door to the moving van all those years ago lol. I know we will have a good time, D is such a hoot. Give her a drink or two and she will have you on the floor laughing!

Well got other things I need to blog about (you are just going to have a fit Kate when I do) but not time enough at the moment. Have to get to the store and start the pie going!

TTFN

TAKING MY CHANCES

OK first thing, why the heck is my font in caps? Damned if I can figure it out! Kate? I am currently useing verizon dsl and msn. Same as you, right? I can’t use firefox at the moment. I still don’t have my computer hooked up to the Internet and my mother is not what we can call, hip to new things lol. Her boyfriend told her that its just a new rage and she doesn’t need it. He is old school IE user. And he knows it all lol. Even though every time he messed with her computer she has problems.

I pretty much have it down to a science on erasing my internet trail so I feel pretty safe blog again. And ya know what, if she can dig deep enough (though I don’t think she would know how) in this puter to find what I have been doing, good for her. And if she don’t like what she reads, tuff tooties lady, ya shouldn’t be snooping!

Any how. Not much new really. Kids are all adjusted in school again. All doing very well so far, woo hoo! Sophia is pretty busy this year with all the classes she has to take. She also is in the French Club, Key Club, (no ASB club, how strange) and getting a pt job. Not sure I like the later until after the first semesters grades. Zoe is doing pretty well as far as I can tell. We will have to wait until her first progress report before I can let my breath out on that one though! Aidan is doing great so far, all A’s on every paper he has brought home so far! WOO HOO. He also finally has a friend that lives across the street this year! It was a long, long summer with no one for him to play with in the neighborhood. So his weekends have been filled with them either here or at J’s house. He also decided that he wants to give band a try this year. We go tonight to pick up and pay for his instrument.

I finally heard from the city about the job at school. Not sure when I start but, I have a pt job at the Aidans’s school. It’s only 2 1/2 hours a day five days a week. But heck my foot is in the door. Once I am done training then I can put in for something with more hours. The hours I have now are great to start too! I can get everyone off to work/school and have time to have coffee and get ready with out being rushed, get home and have time to get a errands or two done before I have to pick anyone up.

Angus is doing well. He had one stint and some ballooning done on his other leg last Monday. Didn’t bother him a bit. He was back to work last Thursday. It’s so nice that he can walk without pain let me tell you. We actually took the kids and went apple picking this weekend! Walked that orchard for hours. His legs were a bit worn out by the end of the day though. His poor muscles are just not use to all the walking he can do yet lol. But I plan on helping that out. Lots of walking in our future!

We also found out that he has to have a couple more stints in his chest area and then they are going to put him in a study group for his carotid artery. Insurance doesn’t cover them unless it’s a study. Not FDA approved operation yet I guess. We are hoping by the first of the year they will have all the metal they need to put in him done.

Lets see, not much else new I guess. Oh I think I forgot to mention that I quit smoking last month when I was in the hospital! Doing pretty good so far. I have had a couple in the past couple of weeks though. Shhhhhhhhhhhh. But I haven’t bought any. My mom gave me a couple (bad mommy) and I kind of hung on to them, then caved and had one during a stress moment a week or two ago lol. And the second one I just had while typing this. But no craving of them. Or OMG I need one moments. The only time it really has crossed my mind is when I have had a glass of wine. Then, then one sounds really good lol. keeping my fingers crossed that I can keep it at bay. It would be nice to smoke only when I having a glass of wine with a friend again, like I used too. And then Angus moved in with me and having him there smoking all the time did me in. Only took me about a year to almost catching up with him cig for cig. He would absolutely have a cow if he knew I had one at this point. So hopefully that will help lol.

Well have to get stuff done. Hopefully I will be able to blog more now.

TTFN

GOING OFF LINE

Yup. Going off line for a bit. Not sure how long. Need to get a wireless router and chip for the puter. I had to cancel aol service to try and save some money for it. I will check my email on my mothers computer a couple times a week. Not much going on these days anyway. Kids are back to school so all is quiet most of the day. The school still hasn’t called me to sub for them yet. I think I am going to have to hound them this week to see what is up. The women that I spoke to said that they need lots of people everyday for pete’s sake. Also looking in to taking some classes at the local collage here. Just not sure what yet lol! Well tata for a bit!

TTFN

YA, IT'S BEEN A WHILE

I can’t believe it has been almost a month since I have been able to post anything! Lots going on around here the past few weeks. This will be short one. I just can’t sit here for very long without shooting pain in my leg and back. I am going to the doctors this afternoon and, hopefully we can get this stupid back of mine under control again. So in short this has what has been going on.

Angus had one leg taken care of last month, I think around the 12th. Five stints put in! Knee to groin metal people! He had a very swollen foot and much pain for a couple of weeks but, feeling much better now. He will get the other leg taken care of this month on the 16th, this one will only be one or two stints so much easier.

My back went out on me about a week before this but seemed to be getting better.

Went to the emergency room on the 22nd and was admitted until the 27th. Diagnose was diverticulitis of all the freaking things. Much, much pain let me tell you!
Week stay in hospital did nothing for my back. It is now worse, and does not seen to want to get better.

Had a interview with the local school system to try and get some temp work from them. Went well. Hopefully I will hear from them in the next week or so for some work. If not, off to the real world of the work force I go.

Kids went back to school on the 30th for 3 days, then on Labor Day vacation, and back yesterday. I miss them already.

That’s it in a nut shell really.

I don’t want to leave without mentioning how heart sick I am for all the people that have been affected from the hurricane. It is a terrible thing to lose everything you have. I know this first hand. It will take them all a very long time to adjust and feel some sense of normal. I wish I could do something to help them all not to have to go through the emotions that they are going to go through.

SURPRISE SURPRISE

Yesterday was Angus’s doctors appointment at MGH. We were both a bundle of nerves on the drive into Boston. Becoming more nervous with every mile closer that we got. The fear that they canceled his appointment for today because they wanted to do major surgery on his neck becoming stronger. When Angus openly shows fear/nervousness, it only feeds mine.

After all the usual questions and routine poking and prodding was done and the real (resident? doctor came in first) doctor was finished with all his poking etc. we all sat down and talked about what was to be done next. And to my surprise, angus’s surprise and, the resident doctors surprise, the real doctor decided that since Angus is not showing any signs of having a stroke and his leg is in so much pain that that needs to be taken care of first. Shortly after that they will take care of the carotid artery. They need to get all the test results from the Dr’s office here and then will decide what is the best way to take care of his leg. He feels very confident that even if he needs several stints put in that that is all he will have to do but, needs to look everything over before making any promises.

They should have the test results in their hands by the end of the week. So sometime next week we will know for sure. Unfortunately, they told us that it could take a good month or so before they can schedule him in. This Dr is one of “The Best” in the country so, we will wait two if we have too! In the meantime he did give him some meds that should help with the pain. They just take a few weeks to start working. Poor Angus.

As far as the carotid artery goes, they just are simply not sure until they look at the tests results. And even then they told us that stints in in the neck are not approved yet. They are still in the testing phase. But, there are several not approved yet still in testing phase things Angus might qualify for. As long as he doesn’t mind, how did the Dr put it? Mind being a bit of a medical study. And of course I just had to ask, “You mean he isn’t already?” Laughs went all around the room. This Dr has a wonderful sense of humor and personality let me tell you. We are most comfortable with him.

Needless to say the drive home was much less stressful than the ride in. And thank gawd because, I felt like I was back home in California for all the traffic we were in lol. Angus was in a most wonderful mood last night, which is something that has been lacking for the past several stressful days of worrying about this appointment. Now I just have to pick the right moment to tell him I had my cell phone turned back on! Hehe. Hey my mother made me do it! How could I pass up no connection fee and 100 free minutes? (its one of the prepaid things) It is just really a pain in the arse not having one with three kids going in three different directions and, me in another. And all the trips to Boston and the kids at home, and all the road trips that Sophia just wants no part of for the most half. Sounds like a good defense story to me. Whadayathink?

TTFN